I Accept Your Challenge

The days are going by fast as we near the end of April.  Soon we will know the sex of the twins, prenatal classes start in May, soon after that, the baby showers and then we start running on fumes. 

Yesterday, while waiting at dim sum,  we saw two good friend of ours.  They happen to be  proud parents of twins.  If someone would have good advice, these guys would be the ones. They spotted us first and we began to talk:

"Hey, congrats, I heard the news you are expecting twins."
"Yeah, we were were surprised."  my wife replied.   
"We have so much stuff we can give you.  Our twins are 4 now."

I wanted to ask how they made it thru the first couple years and hopefully get some words of wisdom from my friend but before I had a chance, he left me with these encouraging words before heading for lunch.

"Oh by the way Jay, you are in for the ride of your life!  Good luck buddy."

That was it?  From one twin parent to an expecting twin parent....you're screwed up the bum....that's the reticulating theme.  It can't be that bad can it?  C'mon, I got thru engineering, I can get thru anything!   Crap, who am I kidding?  Engineering was 4 years this is for life.  I don't know a thing but it's because I don't know anything....I accept your challenge.  That right... LIFE.. I accept your challenge and I will succeed.  I will excel at this challenge....so God help me. 

I did it 6400 times

Can you think of something you did 6400 times in a span of 2.5 years?  I'll be the first one to tell you, not to burst anyone's bubble, that it isn't sex.  Trust me.  No one is that lucky.  6400 times is the average number of times a baby's diaper gets changed over 2.5 years.  Can you believe that?  I sure in hell don't believe it but wait....there could be some truth to it.  I need your help.

Let's break it down...nerdiness starts now.

I need the help of all the expert mothers, fathers, grandparents, caregivers, in answering this question:  How many diapers did your baby go thru in a day?  Don't be shy, it's just a number.  From my research the average is 10-12 diapers in a day for the first 3 months.  Some say between 8-15 but most have concluded 10 is the average.  Would you agree?

Then from 3-12 months, I have read the diaper usage drops to 8-10 diapers per day.  From 12 months to 30 months, a further reduction to 6-8 diapers.  Are these numbers within range?  We have also assumed that one baby on average is in diapers for 30 months (2.5 years)

Here's the data:

(10 diapers /day) x 91 days  =  910 diapers for the first 3 months
(8 diapers /day) x 274 days  = 2192 diapers for the next 9 months
(6 diapers /day) x 548 days =  3288 diapers from 12months to 30 months.

Total number of stinky diapers = 6390.

And remember, that's taking the most conservative numbers.  If you calculate worst case, the total number of stinky diapers is now:


(12 diapers /day) x 91 days  =  1092 diapers for the first 3 months
(10 diapers /day) x 274 days  = 2740 diapers for the next 9 months
(8 diapers /day) x 548 days =  4384 diapers from 12months to 30 months.

Total number of stinky diapers = 8216.

Actually that isn't even the worst case because we've calculated for one kid only.  Better multiply those numbers by 2 for two kids and you get the idea.  I'm not even going to calculate the total diaper cost because with twins...forget about it.  Better get the defibrillator 'cause I'm going to have a heart attack. The question for everyone is: Are these numbers accurate?  I'd like to hear from y'all.

I Survived the Baby Show!

Let's get the facts straight, I know nothing about raising kids, I never grew up with infant kids, and I never changed a diaper in my life.  I'm the whitest blank paper you have ever seen.  After attending the baby show, I'm surprised at how much I was able to learn and how much more questions I have now.

The baby show would have been heaven for people who have a fetish for pregnant women.  All the baby bumps, together, under one roof .  Or if you didn't know better, it could have been a baby stroller convention.  Aside from the expecting mothers, and strollers, I was bombarded by brand names never seen before.  Medela, similac, snuggle bugs to name a few.  We also picked up a lot of free samples and pamphlets seen below. When all the smoke had cleared, there were two things I found useful.

The first was learning about safety and infant car seats.  I was shown the proper way to install a rear facing one.  It was also pointed out to me the possible UAS connector locations in my car.  Finally we were given a DVD with additional safety information.  Very helpful I found.

The second is regarding cloth diapers.  Possibly more economical than disposable, and more ecofriendly, it really made us think.  I'm not going to debate cloth vs. disposable here but rather save it for a future article.

Before the days end, my wife reconnected with some old massage therapy classmates who were giving out complimentary massages.  After a well deserved massage for herself, we headed home but not before making a purchase...

Bouncey chair number two now.  We have one from the twins sale earlier this month, so we are set for bouncers...more to come soon.

What I gave up ...

Pregnancy is difficult.  A woman's body physically changes just as fast as her mood swings and cravings.  During pregnancy a woman gives up many things for the well being of the baby, alcohol, sashimi, her waist line and the list goes on to infinity.

What does the man have to give up during this time?  Well there are many things that we give up, but it would all be irrelevant in a woman's eye.  A friend of mine told me I should give up something because after all, she is carrying two.  I can't imagine myself carrying two nor can I imagine not be able to see my feet for awhile.  So from the goodness of my heart, I gave up something.

Since the beginning of pregnancy until ....who knows when....because the end date has not been established...I am giving up my beloved POTATO CHIPS.  Anyone who knows me, knows chips is my kryponite.  Salt and onion, jalepeno, sweet chili chips, I am giving it all up.  So when you throw baby showers for my wife or have a party, don't be throwing chips in my face and say...."Hey man, look what I'm allowed to eat! Sucker!  "I'm eating chips....I'm eating chips...you're not eating chips.....caused you did it to yourself...."

So far I have been chip-free for 20 weeks.  I have been surviving on nuts, sweets and beer.  It hasn't been as bad as I thought.  It was bad when my wife bought corn chips and ate it in front of me or left the bag out on plain sight.  That's just mean. Anyway, off to the baby show to immerse myself in the world of babies.

On a side note, thanks for the beer this week Ms. Glenny, I need it!      






  

Baby Show 2011

Never in my life would I have thought to attend a baby show but this weekend, I'm draggin my bum to one. What's a man to do at a baby show?  What is a baby show?  It's definitely not a show where parents show off their cute babies.  Pregnant mams compare baby bumps?  I know what the autoshow is all about but a baby show?  Clueless.  So guys, help me out, what does one do at a baby show?

We're not trying breast pumps on are we?  Is it like you try and you buy?  All I know is, there will be many vendors of baby stuff to see.  Lots of products see and buy.  Are they going to be cheaper at the show to buy, I don't know yet.  Here's a stat from the website, 96% of attendees end up buying something from the show.  Well, whatever the show is like, I'm sure it will be an eye opener.  I'll probably be overwhelmed and not even want to set foot into the building.  "What have I done?"  All normal feelings I think.

 Let you guys know, how this clueless joe did.

The Calm Before the Storm

I like my life just the way it is right now.  I am my own boss (my wife thinks otherwise) and I can go do the things I want to do.  Men don't like change.  It is not embraced by us.  We don't want to be bothered, we don't want to be told what to do, we don't like to talk about problems!  We figure things out things on our own, and on our own time.  This is the calm before the storm as I call it.

You see, the men view it as a "storm".  The women view it as a joyous celebration but the men view it as a ball of fire.  It has to be attended to immediately or it will tear the place apart.   Every single man, who have kids of their own, have had basically the same reaction when I told them we were expecting twins.

"Me and my wife are expecting twins eh."
*pause*...then slow smile/ smirk starts to form on their face....
"Sh*t, good luck with that man.  I don't even know if I should congratulate you or not."
"You're in for the ride of your life....."

Then to be nice they try giving me advice like they were the experts.

"...You need to buy a ton of diapers...huggies are the best....just put them on....like this, then like this...and then tada, you're done."
"...Rent the breast pumps at Shoppers Drug Mart...they are good..."
"...After a couple months you'll be fine....

Never take advice from men who never really did the child raising on their own.  Women know way more on this subject.  Trust me.  If there is ever a time to listen to women, this is the the time.  I kid you not.

So this is the calm before the storm, where I still have somewhat control of the things I like to do.  After this, I become a servant to the babies....."as you wish baby A....right away baby B....can I go take a bath now baby A and B ....my apologies for over warming the milk...."  Arghhh,  and I don't get paid.

Place Your Bets

In elementary school, I remember seeing a couple of twins in our school.  That must be cool I thought.  You don't need a mirror to see yourself, just look at your sibling and that's what you look like.

Then in Grade 6, I met a boy who said he had a twin.  I was like, cool where is he?  My twin sister is in the other class  he responded.  Twin sister? When I met his sister, I was like, she doesn't look like you, you can't be twins...but they were.

There are "true" twins and "false" twins.  True twins are the ones that are identical  and have the same DNA.  False twins, like the ones my wife and I are having, are just like any other sibling.  They may look similar, or very different. 

In the coming weeks, we may be determing the sex of the babies.  For the math geeks, we have a 1/2 chance of BG, 1/4 GG and 1/4 BB.  What do you folks think we'll be having?  Take to the polls on the right.

The New Age Man

Slowly life begins to change.  The spring/ summer hockey season is approaching and it may be my last one, for a long time, and maybe forever.  Hanging up the skates, sticks, and longboard....and trading it in for high chairs, strollers and diapers.  Get use to it I tell myself, it's only the start.

This morning was the Toronto Parents of Multiple Births Association (TPOMBA)  annual spring sale where parents of twins, triplets and super twins come and buy gently used baby items. The sale started at 7:30am and guess what time I got up....7:30am.  Frig, how am I going to be a responsible father when I can't even get up early to make the sale.  Now all the good items are probably taken.  Getting out of my bed reluctantly, I eventually hauled my butt to the sale.

Upon approaching the parking lot of the sale, I see a long lineup, 30 deep, I would say.  Crap, why didnn't I wake up earlier.  In a sea of parked cars, I found a spot to park and ran to the line.  I was quickly approached by a woman with a clipboard in her hand.

"Sir, are you a member?"
"Yes Ma'am.  Lastname Leung."
"You are not on the list sir.  Are you here by yourself."
"Yes, my wife is working today."
"Maybe her name is on list?"

From my pocket I pulled out a sheet of paper with my confirmation.

"Ok, guess you are a member.  You are number 152."

Damn...152.  I thought having twins was rare but after today, I think it's more comman than people think.  I looked around akwardly.  Guess we're not in Markham anymore 'cause being the only Asian male, make me standing out like a sore thumb...let alone all bymyself.  Let's face it, I had no clue what I was doing there.  No clue as to what I wanted to buy.   I was going in guns blazing.  From the other couples that were coming out from the sale, they had bags over there shoulders, boxes full of baby toys, some even brought their travel luggage to fill up.  Never let a man do the baby shopping because we will fail so badly.  I had no choice.

I finally get in, and the place is small and filled with people.  The line up to pay curled around the perimeter of the room.     In the center aisle, they had cothes.  Along the walls were various other items of tables.  I spent an hour inside and ended up with the following:

1x fisher price space saver high chair
1x first years baby tub
1x fisher price bouncer thingy
1x disney tigger jolley jumper
2x toys for my wife's nephew.

Now some people may think, what the hell are you doing buying used stuff.  Put it on your registry, someone will buy it for you.  I hear you, but having twins really puts a dent in your wallet, like the government does, like the prices of gas does.  It's like someone punctured a whole in your bank account and money is leaking out.  I'm hoping our families help us with the bigger items that will last longer than a year.  If saving money isn't your strong point, having twins willl definitely make it your strong point.  I'm Chiniese, I should excel in this.  Of course safety cannot be compromised and  as an engineer as well, everything is inspected.  We strive for 6 Sigma here in the Leung household.     

At the end of the day, looking at all the baby stuff in the living room, it really hit me, this is really happening and fast!