You know you are a new parent when...

Nothing can really explain the full extent of what it means to be a new parent, especially to twins. To help explain, I have come up with a list: “You know you’re a new parent when....” Here it goes, from the man’s perspective :

You know you are a new parent when:

1. You don’t know when you’ll get 8 consecutive hours of sleep again.

2. You also don’t know when business hours will re-open for intimacy. It’s what got you into this mess in the first place so you can forget about it.

3. You’ve had thoughts of feeding your kid alcohol so they will fall asleep.

4. It’s the first time you’ve used the closed captioning on your TV.

5. You finally understand why shaking baby syndrome exists.

6. First thing you look for at the mall are the family washrooms and elevators...along with Gymboree and Baby Gap.

7. You start to notice how many lazy people use the elevators with you. I’d love to tell them “Your legs don’t look broke.”

8. You wanted to destroy that $200 baby monitor you thought was so cool.

9. You get pissed off at putting those tiny cotton mitts on your kids hands because it never fails to get caught in their fingers.

10. Being pooed, peed, and vomitted on are common events. Smelling like that all day is also common.

11. It is acceptable to shower every other day, or two, or three.

12. You’ve put food in the microwave, only to find it still there the next day.

13. Baby Enstein is bigger than any of your Biggie Smalls, Lady Gaga, Led Zepplin CDs. Heck you’d probably go to their concert if they had one.

14. You feel like a freak show when people at the mall go out of their way to see your twins. “Hey George, come here, bring little Katie, they have twins. I should have a coin jar and charge for admission.

15. The only batteries you buy now are D batteries.

And there are many more examples but time is luxury now. To wrap it up, here are few pictures of the girls