Funny that when I was younger... I always knew that I wanted to have children but now that I’m pregnant and expecting twin girls... it’s hard to place an actual word to my feelings. I grew up with lots of kids around me (being Filipino we have large families) and I’ve loved being around my younger cousins and taking them out to celebrate their birthdays (ie. just ask Sydney and Madison). But it’s so different when you are expecting your own.
Since we have found out that we would be having twins... I always have thought how blessed we are to be pregnant and even more with 2 babies! But I’ve never been OA (over-acting) about it. I’m extremely happy and feeling really great... but @ the same time I haven’t been going crazy... and for me who’s usually hyper... I’ve been pretty calm. I think I am feeling this way mainly cause it’s been Jay, Brix and I for so long... that i feel a bit uneasy that in less than 3 months... it will all change. Change is good... but for me change also means the unknown. The unknowing of how will we manage with 2 babies... whether it be emotionally, mentally and/or financially. As well as the fact that I love my relationship with my husband... and I’m not ready for such a change that it’s no longer about us but about THEM.
The one thing that is getting me through my feelings is my husband and his support. He has been so supportive and taking me to my Ultrasound apts, Blood lab tests, OB apts and doing our prenatal classes together (plus doing craving runs for chocolate milk shakes & ice cream) but most of all... he is there to listen to my feelings. Weird I always wanted Jay to buy me flowers, gifts, take me to fancy dinners, etc... but now I’m so grateful I have a husband that will always be here for me. I could care less that I don’t have fancy jewelry or a big house... but I have a husband that is home with me every night and the girls will have a father that is present in their life. I still feel nervous thinking about what is ahead of us... but as we are nearing August... I’m feeling happier that my partner has stepped up his game to be the kind of father I knew Jay could be. The girls, brix and I are so lucky to have him in our lives.
Did anyone else out there feel the same way right be4 they had their first baby (or babies)?
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